Hey mom..and other people who are possibly reading this blog. As you can probably tell by the title, things haven't been going too great. It's been almost a month since I've started my singing lessons, and I haven't improved at all, not even a little. Ms. Greene, or Marisa, thinks that I need to practice at home more and that, that would help myself feel more confident, and therefore improve. But I can't. Trust me, I know I can't and I've tried. I don't think I'll ever be in the mood for pounding fists on my door and yelling through my walls in my apartment, all telling me to "keep it down." Which in New York means, "stop making noises or I'll make you." So not in the mood to get fists thrown at me. Because of this, I never can practice and that's why week after week, Ms. Greene and I find ourselves reviewing the same material over and over again. Learning music and how to sing isn't all I thought it would be. I just don't know how many times it'll take for me to fail, until I give up all together. I know why I'm doing this, and it's still important to me but..I would just hate to enter the contest and disappoint my mom when I don't win.
I know that it's easier to give up, that's why I've been thinking about it lately. But I won't. I need to do this. Today is when contest forms are due. As I walk into the record label, Royal Records, I feel a new sense of determination and motivation. Everyone around me is filled with energy. I can see the recording rooms in the back, with musicians in headphones and "testing, check 1, 2." I see agents talking on the cellphones, landing gigs for their artists. In this moment, I realize what I want is more than just the check. Believe me, the check is nice and all, but I want a record deal. I want to be an artist, a musician. I want to be a somebody. I don't want to be nameless, I want people to know my name. I finally grab a slip that says "Shooting Star Contest," and fill out all my information. The lady at the ounter smiles at me, as I hand it in and says, "Good luck."
I know that I'll need more than just luck to become a somebody..in a place like this.
Girl Next Door